In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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