There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
