I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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