I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
