pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
