Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
