She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I need a beard to bite.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize