she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
