i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
