you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
