Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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