I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
