You just made me feel so damn special
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
