i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
