Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
