Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
