And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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