I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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