my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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