I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
