Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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