I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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