What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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