come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
