cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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