I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
They are going to name an STD after you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
do nipples grow back?
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