I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
