apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
