Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
