Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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