can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize