pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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