Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Oh god it's open bar.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
