i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you would pick up someone in the library
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
