I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
