i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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