How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
