so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
