So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
