names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
