i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
