sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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