I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
