I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
