Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
