I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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