i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize