so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
