my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
