um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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