how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
