It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
