Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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