I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
