So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
