that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
