it hurts more in the daytime
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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