Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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