it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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