I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
