All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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