apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
