Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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